The University of Virginia broke its record for patents in 2010, with 32 patents among its researchers. Failed inventors of the world: Unite, and grab a pitchfork.

For medical-imaging tools, improvements in surgical training and "other discoveries," which we can only imagine were totally lame and nothing compared with our pencil-sharpener-cum-hamster-cage, U.Va. has received $40 million from the school's patent administration for the school and $21 million for its inventors since 1977, AP reports.

Congratulations, Cavaliers, for after all you're just another invention of Thomas Jefferson. More than 200 patent applications for U.Va-created tech are still pending, but they can get in line behind the HammySharp.