1. Watched a highlight of his championships » Oops, we couldn’t find them anywhere. Surely a guy who has a one-hour special to announce where he’s playing next season and calls himself “King” has a ring, right?
2. Watched a highlight of Chris Bosh’s top playoff moments » Oops, didn’t realize he’d only won three playoff games in seven seasons with Toronto. Our bad. He called himself a winner, so we assumed he’d, you know, actually won something rather than a regular season game or two.
3. Tried to guesstimate Albert Haynesworth’s weight » Whatever it is at the start of camp, it’ll be about 15 pounds lower by the end. Actually, it could be more than that because, well, the Redskins promise to work his [butt] off. And that’s no small task.
4. Watched “Flower Girl” on the Hallmark Channel » If you haven’t seen it, we won’t spoil the ending for you. But get your hankies ready. OK, we didn’t really see it, but we did notice that it had Marion Ross in the cast and hoped it was some sort of “Happy Days” reunion. Sigh. And please don’t ask who Marion Ross is.
5. Spent the night searching the Internet and Googled these more enjoyable topics » “Brett Favre retirement”; “NFL lockout 2011”; “Barry Bonds, steroids”; and “World Cup officiating.” And then at the end we crossed our fingers, hoping we never had to avoid something like this again.