If you can't make it to the beach, here's five things to keep you occupied this weekend:
Through Sunday: Slaptiscon at the Rosslyn Spectrum Theatre
This annual event is a tribute to old-time film comedians such as Buster Keaton, Fatty Arbuckle, Laurel and Hardy, and Abbot and Costello. A highlight this year is the "lost" Charlie Chaplin short "A Thief Catcher," which screens at 8 p.m. Saturday. A full-day pass is $30, half-day is $16. For more information, visit slapsticon.org
More old stuff: Mark your calendar for the Fifth Annual Mid-Atlantic Nostalgia Convention Sept. 23-25 in Hunt Valley, Md.
Through Sunday: Artscape in Baltimore
This three-day festival (Friday through Sunday) is a big deal. That's why the trip to Baltimore s worth it. The Web site claims the event to be "America's Largest Free Arts Festival." Free is the operative word. Check out artists, musicians, theater, dance, opera, you name it. Music headliners include Wale, Cold War Kids and Gov't Mule. For details, including a detailed schedule, visit www.artscape.org.
Or catch a game: The Orioles host Toronto this weekend.
Saturday: "Star Wars" in concert at the Verizon Center
Quick, hum the music to a current blockbuster movie? Exactly. Few scores match that of the "Star Wars" saga, from the main theme to the "Imperial March." Enjoy John Williams' music performed by a live orchestra and chorus, and accompanied by film clips and a special exhibition. Shows at 2 and 7 p.m. $35 to $75. Visit starwarsinconcert.com for ticket information.
More live music: Local James Stevens performs solo acoustic at the nearby Greene Turtle at 8:30 p.m. on Saturday. greeneturtle.com.
Through Aug. 1: One Man Lord of the Rings at Woolly Mammoth
The guy who brought us One Man Star Wars is back with another epic. Catch Charles Ross' take on the Tolkien trilogy, all in 65 minutes. He somehow squeezes in 42 characters. Shows at 8 p.m. Friday, 6 and 9 p.m. Saturday and 2 p.m. Sunday. $25 for Woolly Mammoth subscribers, $30 for the public.
Something newish: Before or after a show, check out the nearby Iron Horse Tap Room, which opened earlier this year. ironhorsedc.com
Woolly Mammoth: 641 D St. NW; 202-393-3939; www.woollymammoth.net.
Friday: The Unity Tour Featuring the Offspring and 311 at Jiffy Lube Live
Another reminder of our increasing age. The Offspring's best work came between 1994-98 ("Bad Habit" off of "Smash" is still killer). Now they've teamed up with 311 for a Unity Tour. 311 has had remarkable staying power, and the band's biggest hits have never left the radio. There are less entertaining ways to spend a Friday. 6:30 p.m. Tickets range from $37 to $52. For more information, visit livenation.com.
Need more retro?: Creed is playing July 28 at Jiffy Lube Live.