What were they smoking? Police said five burglars snuck into a Florida home and snorted what they believed to be cocaine, but was actually the ashes of a dead man and two dogs.

The victim said she returned home in Silver Springs Shores to discover that several items were missing, including electronics and jewelry. Most disturbing for her was the theft of the cremated remains of her father and her two Great Danes.

Police said the ash grabbers snorted the ashes believing they were snorting cocaine. When they realized the "drugs" wouldn't get them high, the burglars dumped the ashes in a lake. A sheriff's office dive team later located the ashes.

God squad

A Catholic priest denied a woman Holy Communion, then had a sheriff's deputy pull her over.

According to the Northwest Florida Daily News, Jackie Trebesh and her 19-year-old daughter went to take Holy Communion, the priest turned them away and said he would explain his actions after the service ended.

Trebesh decided not to wait around and had left the church parking lot when a deputy pulled her over.

"He's not God. He can't do that to people," she said.

Apparently he can. The deputy informed Trebesh that the priest had requested the traffic stop, and then the deputy issued trespass warnings. Trebesh later learned she was denied the sacrament because someone had seen the daughter earlier dispose of the wafer in the parking lot.

Always Smooth, Even When You're Not*

A Florida man taking his grandson for a stroll was so drunk that he passed out on the pavement -- with the toddler in the stroller next to the highway, authorities say.

Inside the stroller was an 18-month-old child and two cold Keystone Ice beers.

When roused, grandfather-of-the-year-candidate Raymond Dascott, 56, reportedly told deputies that he was "resting."

(* Keystone's actual slogan)

New speed record

An Ohio woman got three speeding tickets in just over an hour.

Police said Amy Bobkovich, 38, received her first ticket at 11:40 p.m., for driving 55 mph in a 35 mph zone. Ten minutes later, she received another ticket on the same road for, again, going 55 mph in a 35 mph zone.

She received her third ticket on another road at 12:43 a.m. Sunday for driving 51 mph in a 35 mph zone.

The tickets were the first she has received in seven years.

Scott McCabe