Garbage in, garbage out

An Oregon man who decided he was too drunk to drive chose to spend the night in a Portland nightclub's recycling trash bin -- only to be picked up by a trash hauler.

The club's garbage service showed up sometime after 1 a.m. The truck emptied the recycling container and continued on its route, twice compacting the load, police said.

The driver later discovered the man in the truck. The drunk man had suffered minor injuries and apparently was feeling no pain. The driver had to convince the man not to walk away as he wanted to, but to stay and get proper medical attention.

The harder you train, the luckier you get

San Antonio police arrested two men who made the mistake of breaking into a martial arts gym while mixed martial arts fighters were inside training.

Investigators said Karl Rogers, 21, broke into the gym through a garage door during the overnight hours, but was confronted by MMA fighters who were still inside training.

The fighters grabbed weights to throw at the would-be burglar, who fled.

Officers arrived in time to find Rogers rounding the corner with a hatchet, and the get-away driver, Adrian Sanchez, 22, waiting in the parking lot.

MMA fighter Caleb Murphee told KSAT-TV that he was glad no one was hurt.

"If he would have tried to rough me up or something, yeah, I definitely would have defended myself," Murphee said. "I feel confident I would have come out on top."

A senior moment

An 82-year-old man was arrested after he took a swim in a river in Arizona.

Maricopa County sheriff's deputies were called to the campgrounds after a 14-year-old told her mother that an old man exposed himself to her.

Police found John Phillips wearing a G-string and took him into custody on two counts of public sexual indecency.