She's got friends in LoJack places
A New York man tried to explain away his ankle monitor by claiming it was worn in solidarity for troubled actress Lindsay Lohan.

U.S. Customs and Border Protection officers say they found the bracelet around Eugene Todie's ankle after he tried to re-enter the United States from Canada using someone else's passport. They say he's on probation and not supposed to leave the country.

Todie told them a probation officer friend gave him the bracelet to wear in support of Lohan, who is scheduled to begin a 90-day jail sentence next week. The Buffalo man was on probation for criminal contempt.

That's all, folks!
A pair of Six Flags Great America employees have been fired after allegedly attacking a Porky Pig mascot at the theme park.

Taras Sikalchuk, 20, and Dmytro Petrychenko, 19, took a photo with the "Looney Tunes" character, then punched the mascot in the head a dozen times, police said.

A park spokeswoman said the mascots are accompanied by a security guard and attacks happen once or twice a year.

Bacon bits
In other pork news: A dispute over a frying pan led to third-degree burns for one South Bend man and 11 stitches for another.

A 49-year-old man was cooking bacon when his 47-year-old brother-in-law claimed the pan was his, the report said.

The man with the pan chased the younger man into a closet and spilled hot grease him. The burned man then wrestled the pan from his attacker and twice bashed him in the head.

Investigators found two pieces of bacon in the closet.

What, no 'Get Out of Jail Free' card?
A Pennsylvania man was rearrested after he allegedly tried to post bail using counterfeit money.

Police in Cinnaminson, Pa., said the man was arrested on shoplifting charges then plopped down $400, including some badly designed fake $20 bills. He was released from jail, but returned the next day and said he overpaid for the bail and wanted his money back. He had two of the bogus bills in his pocket.

Detective Sgt. William K. Covert told the Philadelphia Inquirer: "One of my favorite sayings is, 'You can't teach stupid,' because every day something else comes up and you just shake your head."