Funny or Die gave "Melania Trump," Donald Trump's third wife, a chance to speak up on her husband's scandalous comments about Mexican immigrants, and defend her QVC empire.

The eloquent Mrs. Trump stands up for her husband's facts--“I am for sure that there is like one Mexican rapist, right? There has to be. There might even be two"--and pleads with viewers not to stop buying her tacky jewelry.

“Would all of the problems of the world be solved if women like me stopped sexing people like Donald Trump?...Yeah, absolutely. But I like to dive into money Donald Duck-style, so let’s keep this going so I have something to live for!”


Watch below:

Melania Trump Speaks (Sort Of) from Funny Or Die