First Lady Michelle Obama decided to let us know that fatties in America are a danger to national security.

“[Childhood obesity’s]not just a health issue for children, it's a national security issue…You have to get the whole country behind this because it's affecting our ability to protect our freedom."

While the rhetoric sounds scary, a quick look at the DOD’s own website reveals that our recruiting numbers have actually exceeded our goals. Of course, if we’re concerned about troop levels affecting our ability to defend our nation we could always retrieve those 49,700 troops we left in Iraq after we “ended” the war, take out our troops from Japan where our presence is routinely protested, or shuffle around any other of the approximately 516,000 troops we have in 150 countries across the world.

America still has the manpower to protect itself, even if some of us do enjoy the occasional Twinkie.