More than 2 million Chinese Uighur Muslims have been thrown into a vast network of concentration camps. There, they have been stripped of their cultural identity, forcibly sterilized, used in rape-prostitution networks, and then deployed as slave labor. The Uighurs' plight has rightly been identified by the U.S. government as a genocide.

Beijing won't stop, even after being discovered, but the Xi regime hasn't quite figured out how to defend its indefensible conduct.

Evincing as much, on Thursday, the Chinese Ministry of Foreign Affairs held a press conference with 15 former prisoners of the camp network. Packed full of state media broadcasters, the conference was designed to present the kinder and gentler side of an active genocide.

The official transcript reads like a dark comedy sketch of which Monty Python would be proud. One after another, former prisoners were called forward to thank Xi Jinping for his effort to ruin their lives.

The first prisoner says that he attended a camp after being saved from jihadist ideologues. In said camp, he "studied the constitution, criminal law, counterterrorism law, regulations on religious affairs, regulations on deradicalization. ... I deeply regret my silly behavior which almost devoured my life. I would have fallen into the abyss of evil and have been a slaughter machine without rehabilitation from the vocational education and training center."

The hyperbole tells you something: China is not very good at Western-focused propaganda.

A young female prisoner followed. One hopes that unlike other young women in China's gulag archipelago, she avoided being raped. She says that she "learned a lot of legal knowledge in the vocational education and training center. I had a clear concept of what Islam is. I realized that the 'Imam' is not a religious cleric but a violent extremist."

Witness the practiced disgust that defines the Communist Party's approach to the Uighur problem. Xi's regime doesn't simply want to turn these individuals into loyal party drones; it wants to cut out the heart of their Islamic identity. President Biden should take note.

Addressing whether Uighurs are mistreated in the camps, a state media representative helpfully asked the prisoners, "Would you mind telling me if those reports are true or not?"

Not only are the claims of abuse false, one responds, but "we had colorful extracurricular activities. [prisoners] hold many activities, such as basketball competitions, tug of war tournaments, and art shows. My class owned the first place in the tug of war tournament. Our teachers, just like our family members, took care of us when we got ill. ... [one teacher] even brought me a plate of noodles with mutton. I was very touched."

The absurdity continues when the panel is asked whether forced sterilization is occurring in the camps. A female prisoner lifted up a picture of a child and stated, "Please look at the pictures of my kid. Is she cute? How could we have a child if we were forced to sterilize?"

Next up, the panel is asked about the BBC's recent report of rape-prostitution rings and forcible sterilization. Referencing one of the BBC's interviewees, the government handler declares that "she had never undergone contraception. All her kinsfolk know that she has infertility." That's a direct quote. Another female prisoner then adds, "I solemnly state that no female trainee has been sexually abused in the vocational education and training center. BBC talked nonsense and fabricated bullshit. All the female trainees were irritated." Again, a direct quote.

Another standout moment comes when a government official responds to a question on reports by the Australian Strategic Policy Initiative. The ASPI has infuriated Beijing by its investigative research into the Uighurs' plight. However, the official argued, it is not an "academic research institution at all. They have long been funded by the U.S. Government and weapons manufacturers."

So, yes, this is comically bad propaganda. But to borrow from Shakespeare, this "jest will savor but of shallow wit, when thousands weep more than did laugh at it."