July 4 is the birthday of the nation and the birthday of one of my favorite presidents.

That would be my main man "Silent" Cal Coolidge, 30th president of the United States and one of the most underrated wits and sages ever to occupy the Oval Office.

Of all our presidents, Coolidge is the one I enjoy hearing anecdotes about the most. The punch line of the tale about the so-called "Coolidge Effect" is an absolute corker. I don't have time to give all the details here, but if you Google the term, I'm sure you'll agree. But other Coolidge stories are just as hilarious.

There's the one about how a Coolidge advisor objected to one of his appointments. The man, according to the advisor, was "a son of a b***h." Coolidge's response?

"Well, don't they deserve to be represented, too?"

Many people are no doubt familiar with Coolidge's well-deserved reputation for taciturnity and with the tale of the woman who said she had bet someone that she could get him to say more than two words. Coolidge's response?

"You lose."

Coolidge was governor of Massachusetts before he became vice president under President Harding. (That was in the days when residents of Massachusetts could elect a conservative Republican.) One day a state senator came to him and complained that another senator had told him to "go to hell." Coolidge's response?

"I've read the law carefully, senator, and you don't have to go."

Coolidge held a minor state government post before he became governor. The job required him to listen to a steady stream of constituents the entire day. A colleague of his who held the same job noticed that Coolidge left every day at 5, while he had to stay until 9.

One day the colleague asked Coolidge, "What gives? We see the same number of people each day. They talk to me; they talk to you. Yet you leave at 5, and I'm here until 9. Why is that?"

Coolidge's response?

"You talk back."

Coolidge was also fond of the self-deprecating style of humor. About his presidency, Coolidge said, "I believe the American people want a solemn ass as president, and I believe I'll oblige them." When pressed by reporters to give a reason why he didn't run for re-election in 1928, he said that the job of president of the United States "had no room for advancement."

As July 4 approached, I found myself in dire need of some Coolidge humor, especially after listening to President Obama's pathetic speech on immigration reform. In fact, Obama could use some of Coolidge's wisdom, as well as a dose of his talent for knowing when to talk and when to shut the heck up. Mr. President, take heed of the following Coolidge quotes.

"I have never been hurt by what I have not said."

"I have noticed that nothing I never said ever did me any harm."

Had Obama followed Coolidge's advice, he never would have made his ill-timed and downright wrong comments about police conduct in the arrest of Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates Jr.

And the president surely wouldn't have said, as he did during his "immigration reform" speech at American University last week, that Arizona's controversial law allowing police to question those legally stopped about their immigration status has "the potential of violating the rights of innocent American citizens and legal residents, making them subject to possible stops and questioning because of what they look like or how they sound."

And here's one final Coolidge quote for Obama:

"Collecting more taxes than is absolutely necessary is legalized robbery."

Examiner columnist Gregory Kane is a Pulitzer-nominated news and opinion journalist who has covered people and politics from Baltimore to the Sudan.