LOS ANGELES (AP) — Kristen Stewart is a "trampire."

So says comedian Will Ferrell, who broke down in (crocodile) tears over the breakup between Stewart and her "Twilight" co-star and real-life boyfriend Robert Pattinson during an interview Thursday on Conan O'Brien's show.

Ferrell was on "Conan" to promote his upcoming movie, "The Campaign," when O'Brien noted that the funnyman seemed upset.

Ferrell initially demurred, then went on to explain how Stewart cheated on Pattinson. Photos of the actress snuggling with her married "Snow White and the Huntsman" director surfaced last week.

When O'Brien insisted that things will be fine, Ferrell shouted, "It's not going to be fine, ever!"

"She's a trampire, that's what she is," Ferrell said.

Is it ever going to be fine? Representatives for Stewart and Pattinson did not immediately respond to requests for comment.